What Does “Take Up Your Cross” Really Mean?

Have you ever heard someone say, “Well, I guess that's my cross to bear,” when talking about a difficult situation? Maybe it's a stressful job, a complicated relationship, or something that just isn't going the way they hoped. We've all heard it. And perhaps we've even said it ourselves.

But here's something I've been thinking about: when Jesus told His disciples to take up their cross and follow Him, was He really talking about the everyday difficulties we face? Because when we read Matthew 16 in context, His words become much more challenging.

Before the Cross, There Was a Conversation

To understand what Jesus meant, we need to look at what happened just before He said it. Earlier in Matthew 16, Jesus asked His disciples who they believed He was. Peter answered that Jesus was the Messiah, the Son of the living God (Matthew 16:16). What a confession! But only a few verses later, Peter found himself being strongly corrected by the very Messiah he had just confessed.

Why? Jesus began explaining that He would go to Jerusalem, suffer at the hands of the religious leaders, be killed, and rise again on the third day. Peter didn't like that plan. In fact, he took Jesus aside and began to rebuke Him, insisting that such a thing should never happen. Jesus responded:

“Get behind me, Satan!” (Matthew 16:23, NIV)

Ouch!

But Jesus wasn't simply reacting to Peter's words. He was exposing something much deeper: Peter was thinking according to human expectations rather than God's purposes. Peter recognized Jesus as the Messiah, but he still struggled to understand what kind of Messiah Jesus had come to be. He wanted a victorious Messiah without the suffering that Jesus had just announced.

And immediately after this conversation, Jesus began explaining what it would mean for anyone who wanted to follow Him.

What Did Taking Up a Cross Actually Mean?

Today, we see crosses everywhere. We wear them as jewelry, display them in churches, and use them as symbols of our faith. But imagine hearing Jesus speak about a cross before His crucifixion.

Under Roman rule, crucifixion was a brutal and humiliating form of execution. A person carrying a cross was not simply carrying something heavy: they were being led toward death!

So when Jesus told His disciples to take up their crosses, He was asking them to accept the possibility of suffering, rejection, and even death because of their allegiance to Him. This wasn't a comfortable invitation.

And notice something important: Jesus didn't ask His disciples to do something He was unwilling to do Himself. He had just announced His own suffering and death.

The call to carry the cross comes from the One who would first give His life for us.

Denying Yourself Doesn't Mean Hating Yourself

Jesus gives three connected instructions in Matthew 16:24: (1) deny yourself, (2) take up your cross, and (3) follow Him.

I think we sometimes misunderstand that first instruction.

Denying ourselves doesn't mean believing we have no value, ignoring our needs, or refusing every good thing in life. It means surrendering our claim to be the ultimate authority over our lives. And that can be uncomfortable, can't it?

We want to follow Jesus, but we also want to decide where He leads us. We want His guidance, but sometimes only when it agrees with what we've already decided. Peter's reaction illustrates this tension. He believed Jesus was the Messiah, yet he resisted the very path Jesus said He had to take.

Denying ourselves means learning to trust God's purposes even when they challenge our expectations.

But this isn't a call to abandon wisdom, accept abuse, or remain in dangerous situations. Jesus is talking about our commitment to Him, not giving other people permission to mistreat us.

What Does It Mean to Lose Your Life to Find It?

Jesus continues with what sounds like a contradiction: those who try to save their lives will lose them, while those who lose their lives for His sake will find them (Matthew 16:25).

Wait. How does losing your life lead to finding it? Jesus is challenging the way we measure a successful life.

We naturally want security, comfort, acceptance, and control. None of these desires is automatically sinful. But what happens when keeping them becomes more important than following Christ? What if obedience costs us something we desperately want to keep?

Jesus isn't teaching that suffering earns salvation or that Christians should seek out hardship. He's teaching that preserving our earthly lives at the expense of our relationship with Him is a terrible exchange.

He follows this teaching with another question: What good is gaining the entire world if we lose our souls? In other words, what we gain in this life cannot compensate for losing what matters eternally. And there's hope in His words, too. Jesus goes on to speak of His future glory and judgment. The suffering His disciples might experience would not be the end of their story.

So, What Does Carrying Our Cross Look Like Today?

For most of us, following Jesus doesn't involve the immediate threat of execution, but the call to surrender remains. Sometimes it means refusing to compromise our convictions when doing so would make life easier. Sometimes it means choosing obedience when nobody else understands our decision. And sometimes it means accepting rejection because we refuse to deny Christ.

Luke's account adds an important detail: Jesus calls His followers to take up their crosses daily (Luke 9:23). This isn't merely one dramatic decision we make when we become Christians. Following Jesus involves an ongoing commitment.

But we also need to distinguish suffering for Christ from suffering caused by our own poor decisions or the ordinary difficulties of living in a broken world.

Not every hardship is a cross we have been called to carry. And not every uncomfortable situation is evidence that we're following Jesus faithfully. The central question is whether we are willing to remain faithful to Christ, even when doing so costs us something.

Following the One Who Carried the Cross

There's one final distinction I don't want us to miss. Jesus calls us to take up our crosses, but He alone carried the burden of our sin through His atoning death. 

Our suffering doesn't complete His sacrifice. Our obedience doesn't purchase our salvation.

We follow Him because He first gave Himself for us.

And although discipleship involves sacrifice, Jesus doesn't leave His followers without hope. His announcement in Matthew 16 included not only His suffering and death but also His resurrection. The road to the cross was not the end of His story.

So perhaps the next time we read Matthew 16:24, instead of immediately thinking about the difficulties we're facing, we should ask ourselves a different question:

Am I willing to follow Jesus when His way is different from mine? Because carrying our cross isn't simply about enduring a difficult life. It's about belonging to Christ, trusting Him, and following Him wherever He leads.